I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
