it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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