if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
