i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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