8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
