dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
