Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
