I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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