Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
