im six kinds of drunk right now
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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