STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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