that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
sex in a hospital.. check
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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