In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i think i have herpe
just one?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
