what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
