Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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