she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
