Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
