He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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