How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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