i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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