I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
