I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
