Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
