I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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