I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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