Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
