we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
