she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just had sex on a roof
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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