Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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