Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
