For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
