That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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