Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
