I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We had to coat check the pizza.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
