I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
