return my video game
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
