I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
