everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
