the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
