Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
