After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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