So drunk, too bad you don't want this
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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