Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
