I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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