Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
