I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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