I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
love makes seman taste better
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
