He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
my liver is dry heaving
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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