She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
