I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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