In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
