it wasn't lemon gatorade
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
