Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
