He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
