Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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