are you still at the devil's house?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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