Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
