i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
