But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
