Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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