he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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