none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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