Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
