okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize