would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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