you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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