well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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