Porn is love you can see.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
