Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
