I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wish there were birth control emojis
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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